Don’t financially contribute towards gambling
It might be tempting to give or lend money to help them pay off their debts, but it’s not likely to help them in the long run. In fact, it could make things worse, and it puts your own money at risk.
How to help someone who gambles
If there is someone in your life whose gambling is causing you concern, there are lots of ways that you can support them — and yourself.
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Try to understand what they’re going through
People who gamble may start to hide their gambling and feel they have little or no control over the situation. Learning about what they are going through may help you to support them.
Having a conversation is a great starting point. The best way to start a conversation with them is to show empathy, and reassure them that you’re not going to judge them, so they feel more comfortable about opening up.
Let’s open up about gambling
Take care of yourself too
Feeling that someone is hiding something can cause you to feel hurt or betrayed. These are difficult emotions to deal with when you’re trying to show compassion, but they are completely normal, so try not to give yourself a hard time about it.
Remember: there are many support services available to help the both of you. You can only take care of someone else when you’re looking after yourself too.
How to look out for youHow to talk to someone about their gambling
Talk to them with compassion
It’s difficult to know where to start when talking about gambling, especially if the person who is gambling doesn’t recognise that their behaviour is affecting their life.
Make sure you let them know that the reason you’re concerned is because you care and you want to help.
If they feel safe and supported, they’re more likely to talk openly and honestly.
Do your best to keep calm and positive with them, and avoid saying anything that might come across as judgmental or confrontational.
Explain your side
They may not be aware that their behaviour is affecting you or others, so explaining how you feel using “I” rather than “You”, to help them understand your perspective.
The more we can all open up about gambling, the more we can reduce the harm it causes. If you’re unsure about how to talk about someone’s gambling, read our suggested conversation starters that may be a useful guide.
Tips
use ‘I’ instead of ‘you’
to avoid sounding accusatory
Listen, listen and listen
Once you’ve started the conversation, be patient and listen carefully to what they have to say without being judgemental. Try not to interrupt them, as this might stop them from wanting to open up, and could lead to a misunderstanding, rather than an open conversation.
It’s important to be calm and caring. If the person you are concerned about seems open to admitting that are experiencing problems with gambling, try suggesting that they contact the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or via our live chat, for support that’s right for them.
Protect your finances
If you have noticed that someone is having financial difficulties because of gambling, encourage them to get professional financial support.
It’s also a good idea to protect your own finances by keeping your passwords private and securing funds in any joint accounts you may share with the person who gambles. If you have children with the person who you’re worried about, make sure the children’s accounts or savings aren’t accessible.
Our budgeting and finances advice page has more information on how you or someone who gambles can get the right financial support for your unique situation.
Help with budgeting and finances
Celebrate their progress
Encouraging them
Celebrating progress is really important for encouraging success. If they’re doing well, make sure you tell them so that they can recognise the positive impact of their progress. For example, you could say:
Moving forwards
Progress is always positive, but keep in mind that when someone has paid off their debts, this can be a time when they could relapse.
Some people might begin to convince themselves that because their gambling is no longer as harmful, occasional gambling might not impact them.
Continue to offer them support and if they do start gambling again, try not to be too disappointed. It may help to encourage them to write down what led to their relapse, so they can begin to understand more about why it may have happened and what they should watch out for in the future.
There are a lot of organisations and information out there to support anyone who’s being affected by gambling. The first step is to start talking about it.
Looking for support?
If you’re ready to talk to someone, you can reach out to the National Gambling Helpline:
It is a free, confidential and tailored service, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s there for anyone who’s worried about their own, or someone else’s, gambling.